The images are heart-wrenching: millions of ordinary people, primarily women and children, fleeing their homes with little more than a suitcase and a prayer. The war in Ukraine has created one of the largest human displacement crises of our time, and for many watching from the safety of their own homes, a powerful question arises: “How can I help?”
Beyond donations and protests, one of the most direct, profound, and personal responses is to open your own home. Hosting a refugee family is an extraordinary act of compassion that provides more than just a roof; it offers stability, safety, and the invaluable space for a shattered life to begin healing. However, it is also a significant commitment that requires careful preparation, realistic expectations, and a deep well of empathy.
This guide is designed to walk you through the entire process, from the initial decision to the emotional journey of welcoming guests who have experienced unimaginable trauma.
Part 1: The Inner Work – Preparation and Realistic Expectations
Before you contact any organization or look at your spare room, the first and most crucial step is an honest internal assessment.
1. Examine Your Motivations:
Why do you want to do this? The best answer is a genuine desire to provide a safe haven for people in desperate need, coupled with an understanding that it will be a challenging but rewarding partnership. It should not be primarily for company, for a cultural exchange project, or to “save” someone. Your guests are not charity cases; they are resilient survivors who have lost everything through no fault of their own.
2. Understand the Reality of Trauma:
Your guests will have experienced profound trauma. They may have witnessed violence, spent days in a bomb shelter, said agonizing goodbyes to husbands, fathers, and sons, and endured a terrifying journey. This manifests in many ways: anxiety, depression, nightmares, hyper-vigilance, or emotional numbness, especially in children. Patience is not a virtue here; it is a necessity. They will need time, space, and quiet to process their grief.
3. Assess Your Practical Capacity:
- Space: Do you have a private room or rooms? While a spare room is essential, consider the overall living dynamic. Will there be enough bathrooms? Shared kitchen space?
- Time: Hosting is a time commitment. It involves helping with registrations, doctor’s appointments, school enrollments, and simply being present.
- Finances: While you are providing free accommodation, you must be clear on what other costs you can cover (food, utilities, transportation) and what you expect them to cover themselves once they have access to state support.
- Family Dynamics: How does everyone in your household feel about this? Partners, children, and even pets must be considered. Everyone must be on board for it to work.
Part 2: The Practical Pathway – Finding a Match and Legalities
You’ve decided you’re ready. Now, how do you actually connect with a family?
1. Go Through an Official Organization:
This is the most important step. Do not try to arrange a hosting situation independently through social media. Reputable organizations provide essential services:
- Vetting: They vet both hosts and guests for safety.
- Matching: They work to match families based on language, composition (e.g., a single mother with kids), and needs.
- Support: They offer ongoing support, training, and a point of contact for issues.
- Legal Guidance: They help navigate the complex visa and residency paperwork.
Key organizations vary by country. A quick web search for “Host Ukrainian refugees [Your Country]” will point you in the right direction. Prominent examples include:
- UK: Homes for Ukraine, Reset Communities
- Ireland: Irish Red Cross, Offer A Home
- Poland: Pomagam Ukraine
- Germany: Unterkunft Ukraine
- Canada: Ukraine2CA, Airbnb.org (which often works with NGOs)
- US: Welcome.US (though the U.S. Uniting for Ukraine program is sponsor-based, which is different from hosting)
2. Understand the Visa and Sponsorship Process:
Most Western countries created specific visa schemes for Ukrainians (e.g., the UK’s Homes for Ukraine scheme, the EU’s Temporary Protection Directive). The hosting organization will guide you through the sponsorship application process, which often involves a background check (DBS check in the UK) and a home visit to ensure it’s suitable. You will likely need to commit to a minimum hosting period, often six months.
3. Prepare Your Home:
Think like a hotelier preparing for very special, weary guests.
- The Room: Provide clean bedding, towels, storage space (wardrobe, drawers), a mirror, and a wastebasket. A small welcome basket with toiletries is a lovely touch.
- Wi-Fi: Ensure you have a strong connection and are ready to share the password. This is their lifeline to loved ones back home.
- Create a Manual: Prepare a simple guide to your home. How does the shower work? What is the Wi-Fi password? How do you use the washing machine? Are there house rules about noise or mealtimes? Translate it into Ukrainian using Google Translate or ask your matching organization for help.
- Safety: Ensure your home is safe, especially if there are young children. Think about medicines, cleaning products, and trip hazards.
Part 3: The First Days – Welcoming and Setting the Tone
The day they arrive will be emotionally charged for everyone.
1. The Welcome:
Be warm, but not overwhelming. They will be exhausted, disoriented, and likely very emotional. A simple smile, a helping hand with luggage, and a quiet tour of the house are best. Show them their room and the bathroom immediately, giving them a private space to decompress.
2. The “Welcome Pack”:
Have essential items ready:
- A pre-paid SIM card for their phone.
- Basic groceries for the first few days.
- Information on local public transport, a map, and emergency numbers.
- A list of local Ukrainian-speaking doctors or community centers.
3. Establish Gentle Boundaries and Routines:
On the first or second day, have a calm conversation (using a translation app if necessary) to establish the basics.
- Meals: Will you eat together? Are they free to use the kitchen? Clarify this early to avoid awkwardness.
- Keys: Give them their own set of keys. This small act symbolizes trust and gives them autonomy.
- Communication: Discuss how you’ll communicate. Encourage them to tell you if they need anything, but assure them their privacy will be respected.
Part 4: The Ongoing Journey – Navigating Life Together
Hosting is a marathon, not a sprint. The initial excitement will settle into a daily routine.
1. Foster Independence, Not Dependence:
Your goal is to help them stand on their own two feet. Empower them, don’t infantilize them.
- Help with bureaucracy: Accompany them to register for government support, open a bank account, and find a language class. Your local knowledge is invaluable.
- Encourage integration: Help them find local Ukrainian communities, but also encourage them to practice the local language and explore their new town independently.
2. The Language Barrier:
This will be one of the biggest challenges. Use technology:
- Google Translate is your best friend. Use it for complex conversations.
- Learn a few key phrases in Ukrainian: Hello (Vitayu), Thank you (Dyakuyu), Please (Bud` laska), You’re welcome (Proshu).
- Encourage them to use language apps like Duolingo to start learning.
3. Be Sensitive to Cultural Differences:
There will be differences in food, parenting styles, and social norms. Approach everything with curiosity, not judgment. Maybe they cook dishes with unfamiliar smells. Perhaps their children are raised with different disciplines. See it as a learning opportunity for you as well.
4. Take Care of Yourself:
Hosting is emotionally taxing. You cannot pour from an empty cup. It is okay to need space. It is okay to feel frustrated sometimes. Practice self-care, talk to your support network or the hosting organization, and remember that setting healthy boundaries makes you a better, more sustainable host.
Part 5: The Inevitable Goodbye – A Bittersweet Success
The temporary protection status will eventually end. The goal was always for them to build a new, independent life.
When the time comes to move on, it will be emotional. You will have shared a unique and intense chapter of your lives. Celebrate their independence—it means you succeeded. You provided the safe harbor they needed to repair their sails and continue their journey. The goodbye is not a failure; it is the entire point.
Stay in touch if it feels right for both parties. You may have forged a friendship that lasts a lifetime, a permanent connection forged in a time of global crisis.
Conclusion: An Act of Radical Hospitality
Opening your home to strangers from a war zone is a radical act of humanity. It is a tangible stand against the destruction and hatred of war. It is messy, difficult, and unpredictable. There will be moments of misunderstanding and frustration.
But there will also be moments of profound connection: the shared laughter over a meal, the sight of their children finally playing without fear, the heartfelt “dyakuyu” that carries the weight of a world of gratitude.
You won’t just be giving them a house. You will be giving them the most precious gift after safety: the gift of time. Time to breathe, to grieve, to plan, and to hope again. In a world that can seem overwhelmingly cruel, it is a powerful reminder that kindness, courage, and compassion still have a home.